50 Shades of Grey in 50 Seconds, Laura Antoniou reads 50 shades of sell out – 50 Shades of Curious News – #105
Fifty Shades of Grey News served up by http://www.50ShadesOfCurious.com – This week Bo gives us an overview of 50 Shades of Grey in 50 Seconds! Laura Antoniou reads her short story 50 shades of sell out, and we find out about BDSM contracts and if they are enforceable.
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FIFTY SHADES OF SELL OUT
SEX SLAVE WIFE STORY
Although it’s sold 35 million or so copies, we’ve been told that some of you still haven’t read the book 50 shades of grey.
As a quick public service to start off the show I’m going to give you a thorough overview of the book… 50 shades of grey, in 50 seconds
Anna interviews Grey and is instantly attracted, Grey shows up at ana’s work and begins courtship, which poor people call stalking. ana tells grey she needs a photo and after pictures, they have coffee. Later he saves her from a speeding bicycle
After exams, Ana gets an expensive book, and goes to a club where she kisses a friend & drunk dials Grey, he takes her back to his hotel room, where nothing happens but a scolding. Grey discloses his interest in ana, but needs paperwork signed and they makeout in an elevator
Grey helicopters ana to his apartment, discusses paperwork, and introduces her to his red room of pain. ana is a virgin so he forgets about paperwork and they have sex ,and more sex and Grey’s mother show’s up and is surprised her son isn’t gay.
Grey reveals his sexual history and Ana receives a laptop, though she’s the only student alive who doesn’t know how to use one. Ana teases Grey with email but is overwhelmed, runs away, and doesn’t see grey again til her college graduation, where she finally decides to sign the contract.
More negotiations, hard and soft limits are discussed, Ana is spanked for the first time & is confused by lavish gifts & a trip to meet grey’s family. after getting a job in seattle, ana asks grey to punish her, which is a very bad idea & after being beat with a belt she decides to leave grey
In England, stuffy British stereotype and pornographic Agatha Christie type Character Vicar Woodcock, has objected to local hotel boss Wayne Bartholomews unrepentant new choice of bedside reading for his guests, evidently he’s been replacing copies of the Gideon Bible with 50SOG.
Bartholomew says a copy of the Gideon Bible will be retained for those who want it -
and we here at 50soc are thrilled to see that the porn will be freely available in your nightstand at this hotel but you’ll have to go to the front desk to ask them to turn on your bible
Perhaps in this situation The Vicar would do far better embracing the old adage, if you can’t beat em, Join em,
and point out the gideon bibles
firm…. hard back… Binding,
Which makes a far superior paddle, you can use on that hooker your cheating on your wife with.
Maybe we should say it’s if you can’t join em, beat em…., vicar
Bartholemew points out that the bible contains as many sexual references as Fifty Shades of Grey. While Vicar woodcock, fumes over the bible being taken out of context.
Well I don’t know if that’s true…. let me read a few passages and see if these might be taken out of context
Come on, let’s get our father drunk, so that we can sleep with him and have children by him. That night they gave him wine to drink, and had intercourse with him. he was so drunk that he didn’t know it. In this way both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their own father.
Ok, pretty direct there, not much room for inerpretation, I’ll give you that
Alright, let’s try this one
Judah saw what he thought was a prostitute,and went over to her and said, ” how much do you charge?” He did not know that she was his daughter-in-law because she was wearing a veil.
He could’t tell she was his daughter in law because she was….
She said, “What will you give me?”
What will you give me? Well SHE certainly new he was her father in law, he wasn’t wearing a veil
He answered, “I will send you a young goat from my flock.” Then they had intercourse, and she became pregnant. Terrific
Ok wait, here is a nice one
How beautiful you are, my love! How your eyes shine with love behind your veil. Your hair dances like a flock of goats Your teeth are as white as sheep that have just been shorn. Not one of them is missing; Your breasts are like gazelles, twin deer feeding among lilies.
Well that’s kind of lovely, kind of
And then it says My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him
Ok, Mr. Bartholomew… you clearly you have a point
With all the exciting kinky sex it’s spurred, we sometimes forget that 50 shades of grey actually has had a few critics on the quality of the writing. (pause we didn’t forget)
Now being a romance novel and not the magna carta, we probably should cut it some slack but you “should” know, that there have been “many” talented erotic fiction writers over the years.
Most famously the one and only Anne Rice who wrote the Beauty triology under the pen name Anne Roqualaire and Exit to eden as Anne Rampling.
If you were “very unlucky” you may have even seen the movie that was made from the book. ——–pause—- (talking to camera)Well it was a travesty. They took a really sexy book and turned it into some sort of romantic comedy, farce where the only redeeming quality was Dana Delaney in stockings and garters.. You know, Because when I think sexy, Rosie Odonald and Dan ackaroyd instantly come to mind… I mean really… what genious in casting decided… this could be the hottest movie of all time… let’s get two of the least sexy humans in history,
Another great writer is the fabulous Ms. Laura Anteniou who wrote the Marketplace series, a trilogy that you’ll find in most serious BDSM’rs libraries.
Recently Ms. Anteniou wrote a bit of a tongue in cheek parody called “50 shades of sell out”. And in a major coop over all the networks and cable news channels, we are very excited to say she has given us an exclusive reading of that short story for our little show.
You can watch Laura reading her entire short story, 50 shades of sellout by visiting www.50shadesofcurious.com/laura
While your there you can also find a link to buy books from Laura, Anne Rice and dozens of other authors we reccomend & get the link to laura’s home page.
News from Italy, A 31-year-old woman who signed a BDSM slave contract back in 2006, is now suing her master(slash)husband for divorce and abuse. The two have split up over a year ago and the contract they signed has been released to the press as the legal proceedings ensue.
online newspapers and blogs have been all over this story with the UK’s daily mail saying: Italian sex-slave wife sues husband over their ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ bondage contract. And The stir says ’50 Shades’ Sex Slave Wife Sues Husband Because Whipping Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be. As you’d expect, Both stories quote the contract itself liberally, sensationalizing clauses and going for whatever can be presented as titilating
You know It seems every story today that includes any kind of kinky sex is a “50 shades of grey” story:
This isn’t 50 shades of grey story, this is 50 shades of stupid story
1. this story is about 2 people’s private agreement on the kind of kinky sex they were going to have during their marriage.
2. Last time I checked, Slavery was outlawed, even in italy, many years ago… I think… right?
3. While bdsm couples drawing up slave contracts are very helpful to create better communication between the partners and provide a fun fantasy element, they are not legal!!!!
4. So holding someone to this contract is like trying to hold your best friend from 3rd grade to the BAJILLION dollar bet you made on who would get to see tits first
5. BDSM play is fantasy play. Sometimes it can be very intense and realistic but never the less, Consent can be revoked at any time! contract or not, by it’s definition BDSM can’t exist unless there is consent, so all we care about is
6. did this person non consensually hit his wife. If he did, he should go to jail. If he didn’t he shouldn’t be demonized as an abusive husband since they were in a consensual relationship
It’s also nice of the blogs to point out that the husband did follow proper bdsm procedure, like giving his wife a a safe word for her in case things got too intense. The word by the way was Mario…
Cut away (hey,was a matter you…put down that whip)
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